Well firstly let me wish all friends and family around the world a truly wonderful Christmas and New Year.
Some bumps in the road at the moment. Ollie and I are going through some counseling because we are struggling to talk re Mum. Ollie is bottling up feelings and not wanting to show sadness to me so represents a “I’m happy” persona even if he is sad. So counseling for the two of us to get us to a position of sharing thoughts honestly. It’s tough I have to say as its sort of back to the beginning talking re Nina and her death, and having a VERY young pediatric Dr telling me some of the decisions I made may not have been for the best. I still stand by those by the way, and sorry Dr but there was no manual handed out or previous experience of anything so catastrophic to me and my family. Again I stand by all the decisions I made then as the right thing at that time and under those circumstances.
I mentioned this to my very dear friend in Australia, Syl and she sent me a book to read called “Tuesdays with Morrie”, by Mitch Albom. I would recommend this to anyone as it is a heart-warming sad/happy book that really makes you think about death, but NOT in a morbid way. It truly is worth reading. Some of the take aways I have from the book are;
I constantly think about Nina and what was an amazing marriage we had together, that we always said that that would be it, that we had found our soul mates and that we’d grow old together. Sadly now that cannot happen, but in the book is this section which I completely agree with because Nina and I absolutely had it all. When Morrie was asked is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?
“There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage; If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don”t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don’t have a common set of value in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.”
So VERY VERY true! Ni and I had it all, and then had it snatched away! Tragic!!!!!
When Morrie was nearing the end of his own life, he made this amazing statement;
“As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you have created is still there. All the memories you created are still there. You live on – in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.”
WOW, powerful words I think you’ll all agree and absolutely what I feel every day re Nina. Constant love and wonderful warm memories that I hope will never subside or wain.
And now as the title suggests to the highs. We went away with Mary to The Philippines for Christmas. Two stops, firstly to Bohol and Tagbilaran, and then a short ferry trip across to Cebu for 3 nights. Then back to Bohol for one night and then home to Singapore.
Bohol was at Bohol Tropics Hotel, really nice and in the city but also near the sea, So ideal. Cebu, wow! An hotel with its own waterpark, wave machine, lazy river, waterfalls, Captain Hook’s water adventure playground etc etc. WOW!
Wonderful time was had by us all, great to see Mary’s family and kids again. Desired effect was achieved which was a Christmas to remember for fun and laughter, and not to be sad without Nina (although that it is ALWAYS there of course). I think you’ll see in the faces of the kids how much they enjoyed themselves and me and Mary too of course!
I’ll try to pop some narrative in there too next to the photos to explain. See the next blog for photos and videos.
Here’s hoping 2011 is a happy and safe year for us all.
Much Love Bri xxxx