A lazy Sunday today, it’s been raining literally all day, Amy is having her afternoon nap and Ollie is glued to the TV.
Plenty of time to sit think and reflect. I’m sitting here thinking of my poor mate Martin and the girls, what must be going through their mind with the loss of Annie – wife, mother, best friend. And yes it brings floods of Nina thoughts back, front and centre.
The big one word questions, simply put:
“Why?” – Why us, why did she leave us, why did she have to go, why were we chosen for this?
“What?” – What are we going to do without her, what will the children grow up like without her, what did we do to deserve the loss of her?
“Will” – Will we be OK, will we survive without her, will we still feel so sad without her in another 5, 10, 50 years?
Am I angry with her, no, just desperately missing her so. I want her back.
So sad to see little Amy grow to be the most beautiful girl, funny, caring, thoughtful, pensive at times – but to never have really had the chance to experience her Mum, will she remember Naoko – No. And Ollie who was devoted to Nina, loved her desperately, doted on her – to have that taken away, the gentle side of the parents, the feminine touch, the love of a Mum is just too cruel to mention.
We push on as a family. Mary is amazing and helps us all with that. But we all, I, still miss and love our lost girl. I wish you could come back Ni, I love you.
Martin, I really feel for you an the girls, I am so very sorry this has had to happen to you. Another wonderful person taken from us all, from you. Another person with such sparkle, like Nina, that has been taken prematurely from her family and friends. There is no rhyme or reason for the “Why”, there truly is not, and I still cannot accept it and likely never will. My thoughts are with you.